Thursday, December 21, 2006

NFL 07' Pre-Season Predictions

Here is what I believe all your favorite analysts will be saying come pre-season time next year.

1. The Titans wil be a playoff team and everyone will have a hard-on for Vince Young.
2. Ladanian Tomlinson will be thhe top fantasy pick in everyones league.
3. The 49'rs will win the Division.
4. Jay Cutler will be the new face of Denver Bronco football.
5. The Jets will get some Respect and be labeld a playoff contender.

Now here is what I think will really happen.

1. The Titans still won't have much of a running game, defenses will key on Vince Young running and he will be forced to throw to a mediocre receivng core. They will remain in contention until Rod Bironias misses two game winning field goals late in the season. (Vince Young will probobly be on the cover of Madden 08' so expect an injury that will cripple the hopes of his teams playoff run.)

2. Yes he will be. Whoever has that #1 pick will make the playoffs in your league.

3. Yeah Right. Frank Gore will be the focus of defenses and Alex Smith will be exposed as the fraud he is. Plus Mr. Alexander will shake the Madden curse frm this year and the Seahaks will regain their dominace,

4. Fans will call for Cutler to be replaced after Denver starts 1-5.

5. The Dolphins will be better, the Pats will be good and if the Bills ever get rid of J.P. Lose Man they will have a shot. In a tragic turn of events Chad Pennngton's arm will come off with ball attached on a deep route to Coles. Coles will make the catch and score and this will go down as on of the greatest plays/tragedies in NFL history. Gander On!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The importance of Walmart

I overheard this today while at Safeway.

"I'm lookin at these trailer homes they got out in West Richland, and I called the guy. My wife says she doesn't want to live there though because it to far away from Walmart."

That is Verbatim what this guy said. What kind of world are we living in when a determining factor in buying a trailer home is by it's distance from a Walmart. Gander On!

Cd's I bought on my Lunch Break

1. Rock On - Humble Pie
2. Yellow House - Grizzly Bear
3. Fishscale - Ghostface Killah
4. Hell Hath No Fury - Clipse
5. Hip Hop Is Dead - Nas

It looks like I will be having a very gangster christmas this year. This also must have given me a gansta aura. After making my purchases some old guy at Safeway said to me "Have a Merry Christmas Dogg." I also bought High Fidelity and that reminded me that I needed to buy Empire Records, because I wish it could be Rex Manning day every Day. Gander On!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Daft Punk + Coachella = Yeah

The rumors have started and hopefully they are true. If last year wasn't good enough this year will be even better. I can't wait for the greatest three days in the desert ever! Gander On!

Monday, December 18, 2006

AOL picks best bands of 2006 (Yeah Right!)

AOL released it's top 25 artist of the year and let me tell you, they are as accurate as a blind retard in an archery contest. It looks like they watched MTV and just wrote down the videos in the order they appeared, with the exception of some bands like Wolfmother, Gnarls, The Raconteurs, and Lupe Fiasco, there list is shit to me. Does anyone really think that Ne-Yo and Danity Kane were top ten artists, or that Brooke Hogan was even top 25, and to top it off Paris Fucking Hilton, you have got to be kidding me. It looks like AOL solicited cash donations from 20 artists and randomly put five of the top ten best acts in so they wouldn't be found out. I mean come on if Kellie Pickler made the list, and Chris Daughtry both losers of American Idol then how the fuck did Paris beat out Taylor Hicks. AOL you suck balls, I hope the Hulkster chokes you out for ranking his daughter below Cherish and Hinder(Fucking Hinder, why don't they just call themelves the Nickleback of the midwest.)

Here is the list.

25. Mario Vazquez
24. Vanessa Hudgens
23. Paris Hilton
22. Lady Sovereign
21. Daniel Powter
20. Brooke Hogan
19. Wolfmother
18. Taylor Swift
17. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
16. Cherish
15. Hinder
14. Kellie Pickler
13. Jibbs
12. The Raconteurs
11. Cassie
10. Lupe Fiasco
09. KT Tunstall
08. Danity Kane
07. Daughtry
06. LeToya
05. Yung Joc
04. Corinne Bailey Rae
03. The Fray
02. Gnarls Barkley
01. Ne-Yo Gander On!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

My face, his crotch and a look of disgust!

This problem can occur anywhere such as the grocery store, record store etc., but today it happened at Barnes and Noble.
I was doing some Christmas shopping and popped in to B&N, I was looking for a new calender and Tom Wolfe's Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test (No luck on the book but I got a sweet ferret calender.) Before making my purchases I decided to see if any magazines caught my eye. As I approached the magazine section that I wanted to look at there was a guy standing right in the middle of it looking at the magazines, I figured he would move in a moment after getting the magazine he wanted. This did not happen, this guy proceeded to pick-up the magazine he wanted and start reading it. Hello asshole there are chairs for this! I was patient but I could see the magazine I wanted, the only problem was it was in the middle rack. Me being a very tall gentleman was forced to bend down and reach to the back of the rack for the magazine. Now anyone with a mildly vivid imagination can probably see that my head was positioned right in front of this guys crotch, I didn't want it to be there but it was the only way to get to the magazine. Then while my head is at his crotch this motherfucker has the nerve to look at me like I'm invading his personal space and makes no effort to move he just seems annoyed that I interrupted his reading. Here is the deal if you want to have a personal bubble don't act like there aren't people around with them too, your at a B&N asshole not sitting on the shitter at your buddies house looking for an article that will get you through the log jam in your ass.
This sense of space entitlement also needs to be done away with at the grocery store. Attention all people an aisle at the grocery store is big enough to get two carts through so when you turn it sideways in the aisle and walk halfway down to decide what brand of salt you want, you fuck me and when I turn it to get by because I have better things to do than wait for you to decide on salt don't look at me like a fucking purse snatcher I know what kind of salt I want so get the Fuck out of my way!
The video for Social Distortions Ball and Chain was just on VH1 Classic and now there playing Radiohead. I feel much better. Gander On!

Saturday, December 16, 2006

The NFL Network is crap.

Sorry I couldn't come up with a sweeter title for my first post but that one sums it up. So far this year the NFL has put four of it's games on there own network. One on Thanksgiving day, the last two Thursdays and today. They suck. There graphics package a copy of ESPN's Monday Night look, the announcers (Bryant Gumble and Chris Collisworth) are horrible, tonight Collinsworth is sick so his voice sounds like that of an eighty-five year old dying from lung cancer, and don't get me started on Gumble, he needs to stick with comparing the Olympics to a GOP convention because of it's lack of black athletes. I've just had enough of the NFL taking good games and preventing them from being seen by a majority of there fans. On Thursday there were only two bars in the Tri-Cities that could get the game and those places were standing room only because most of people at home couldn't get the game either. What is gained by hording good games to yourself and preventing the general public from viewing them. Give the games to the stations that have been and know how to do it right. I guess the best part about no one seeing the games is that the don't have to put up with the shitty product that is being put together. I hate you NFL and if Michael Vick wasn't on my fantasy team I would not be watching you at all tonight! Gander On!